Evolution is the process of natural development. Whether a dog or even a car, we’re permanently trying to enhance on the previous model. Most progress is gradual, interrupted once in some time by a major breakthrough, like walking on two legs or ABS brakes.
So how is it that the people, which is clearly top of the food chain, still needs the very best section of per year when having a baby? Especially when you consider that people usually only produce one, rather than a litter, let alone eggs by the hundreds. Haven’t we advanced sufficiently by the 21st century to be able to cut this down to significantly less than six months?
Evidently we’ve not, which raises the question, why not? It would be easy to place the blame on the women. Pregnancy is their job after all. But seeing as they got this all-important role because the men couldn’t be trusted with it, we’re hardly in a position to point the finger.
So what’s the solution? There can really only be one logical conclusion. Pregnancy and childbirth take nine months because that’s the length of time people need to select a name. Let’s face it. Other species of animals get the birth process over with a lot quicker because they don’t really even bother, unless they’re a Disney character.
Our history has shown us that it will take quite a long time to develop a sensible name, so an infant should remain in the womb until we do. Actually, there are many examples that suggest nine months still isn’t good enough and we must extend it to a year. Just look at all the kids inventively called Junior, or Bob Smith III. It’s an admission that after three-quarters of per year, this is the best they may manage.
The initial hurdle is relatives. This is very true for younger parents, who tend to have more of these alive, every one of whom want to be immortalized by their grandchild inheriting their name. So unless you’re having quadruplets, you’ve got a problem حوامل.You can’t even break free with giving your child all four names, because only it’s possible to come first and top billing counts for everything. Next is the situation of the actual names grandparents have a tendency to have. It appears children’s names were a low priority when confronted with the industrial revolution and the odd World War. Who wants to find yourself calling the youngster Algernon or Gertrude?
Another problem can be your wife’s side of the family. If a woman took her husband’s name in matrimony, she will probably want her family name to survive, so that it becomes a child’s middle name, even if it isn’t one at all. Just ask Mary Carbunkle Jones.
The sole exception is if these people are extremely rich. If calling your daughter Ethelred Stinkpants Smith puts her to the top of the inheritance heap, then so be it.
Next comes the problem of pets. Not naming them, as that’s easy and they don’t really care anyway. The sole rule of thumb is to remember that you may well be in the park one day shouting at your pet, so names like “Fatty” and “Loser” are negative choices.
The problem is that you can’t name your child after having a pet. You might such as the name Max, but if an uncle had a Doberman called Max, it’s just not planning to happen. Charlie is an excellent selection for either gender — except when someone had a pet of exactly the same designation that got run over. It’s like by choosing that name, you’re condemning your child to a fate of jumping out of a screen, chasing a bird and getting hit by a truck.
If anything, choosing a title should really be much easier now. Nowadays, most situations is acceptable. In the event that you can’t find a real name you prefer, then how about circumstances, a country or even a continent? Even a food-group will do. But despite the infinite choice, it’s amazing how many parents mess up. They don’t really think how a child’s name could be changed, shortened or generally twisted into something that’ll scar their psyche for life. How hard was school for the kind of Jeremy Attric, Philip Ness and Frank Ukwit? Who knows, perhaps if he hadn’t been called Adolf, things could have been different.